Tag: Gabriel

Lazy Sunday 7

Part 1, 

Part 2, 

Part 3, 

Part 4,

Part 5, Part 6
Find me at AO3

It had been six weeks since Dean and Gabriel had their argument and painful as it was to admit, Sam was starting to feel that nothing was going to get better unless the two of them talked.

-He didn’t mean wrong Dean, I think he honestly thought he was helping. -It was the sixth time this week he had caught his brother frowning at nothing while lost in his thoughts and it was just Tuesday morning.

-Great! Now you’re defending him!

Both Castiel and Sam had prayed to Gabriel in hopes that he would come back from only Chuck knew where he was hanging right now. But he didn’t answer back.

Finally, Dean grabbed the car complaining about being holed up all day and went out for a ride. There was a field nearby where he liked to go see the sunset. He was surprised when he saw Gabriel already sitting on his spot. He had forgotten he had shown Gabriel the place once. He also wondered if this was where he had been all along.

He considered for a second to retreat and drive again back to the bunker but he was already there. Besides, chances were the archangel would fly away as soon as Dean got near. He was always good at avoiding any conflict the Winchester created so he began to stride towards him.

But with every step he took to approach the archangel, the more he wavered.

Gabriel was still sitting there. Ethereal like one of those bronze statues on the park that look at nothing and yet seem to be watching all. The rays of the setting sun hitting his eyes, making them shine with a hint of ancient knowledge, like water filling a pond so profound you never get to see where it’s boundaries lie.

That was the moment Dean knew he couldn’t win this round, not only because both of them had had fault in it, he just didn’t want to fight Gabriel anymore.

He had to struggle with his own ego in order to walk the rest of the path and sit by his side.

They shared the moment when the sun glazed it’s last beam of light before the sky settled in the soft cobalt blue of the newborn night.

Dean sighed.

-Gabriel…

Gabriel didn’t move, for all it counted he could actually have been a statue.

-You know I am glad to know no innocent people were hurt that time but you see if… if there had been someone inside that house, every single wasted moment would have been a matter of life or death. Hunting is not just about going on a killing spree, I mean I love that too but saving people’s lives, that’s what’s really important.

Gabriel didn’t move yet. It was driving Dean mad to see him like that, so far from true human behaviour. It scared him.

-Anyway my point is… I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean bad, and I know you get really bored on our hunting trips so I thought maybe you should just go, I dunno, take a vacation in Tahiti or get a massage with a happy ending while we go do our job. I know I’m not the best company in the world after all.

This time Gabriel did turn to look at him.

-Have you ever had fun when I take you around?

Dean was startled with the odd question.

-Sure I do.

-Have you ever regretted being by my side?

-No.

-Then, do you really think I’d take you around if I found you boring?

Dean’s stomach tied in a knot.

-I…

-Don’t dare you say you think I would because I swear to dad I’ll smite you.

Dean shut his mouth and tried to swallow what little saliva he had yet hydrating his tongue.

-I, I don’t…

-Look at me Dean.

The hunter obeyed at the commanding order. Locking his sight with the powerful archangel.

-Dean, I like you. Is it that hard to understand that I actually like to spend time with you?

Dean felt powerless, he couldn’t fight such a solid argument but he still didn’t feel like he actually deserved the praise. He stayed silent.

-But if you’re so doubtful, would you allow me to show you how much I care?

Dean was everything but certain but he still managed to give a soft and startled ‘ok’.

He didn’t know what to expect, maybe suddenly finding himself in another room full of pornstars or on a beach in Bali. But he certainly didn’t expect what Gabriel did. Because the archangel embraced him.

And it wasn’t just a normal hug. Well, he would have definitely been shocked only by that considering how little to none acts of affection Gabriel performed, but this time there was something remarkably different. Dean could have sworn the air around him started to brim with energy and he could definitely feel a soft rustle of large invisible feathers pressing all his body, surrounding him, heightening his sense of being.

It was overwhelming. This must have been the same kind of feeling a Saint must have felt in the middle of a revelation. He felt the power of light and life and unadulterated love imbuing every pore of his skin. If he hadn’t believed in Chuck already, just because he had met the guy, this moment would have been the moment when he might have started to believe that God was real after all.

Tears streamed down his face. And he really didn’t know why. All he was able to do was hold Gabriel close to him returning his embrace and hide his face in that nook between his head and shoulder to let his emotions flow. If Gabriel had been a normal human being he might have complained about breathing, the way things were right now, it didn’t really matter. Because he was exactly where he had wanted to be.

Dean wasn’t sure how much time passed by but it sure startled him to see the stars above shining bright under a very dark sky.

-It’s late.

-Or very early.

Dean chuckled. He was still trying to come down from the emotional rush and there was a small tug in his brain already telling him there were high probabilities he wouldn’t want to bring this issue later unless under a huge amount of alcohol running through his veins but he was trying his best to ignore that. He already missed feeling Gabriel’s wings surrounding him and filling his uncertainties with love. Something must have come through his face.

-What?

He looked aside with a rush of red painting his face.

-Nothing. -An awkward silence filled the following moment. -I just thought… I mean, your wings… I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.

Something soft touched his hand in a flutter.

-They’re always there.

Dean felt his body leaning towards them by impulse. His emotions brought the words to his mouth before his external mask of toughness placed a barrier on them. -I like them. They… they feel good.

-Dean Winchester, do you have a wing kink?

Great, now he was never going to see the end of it. His brain was starting to come up with a snarky retort but Gabriel just laughed. And it wasn’t a cheeky or cynical laugh like his Trickster side used to bring. It was an honest playful laugh. And just like his wings, the sound touched Dean with joy.

-You’re an idiot. -The hunter said with a warm smile on his face.

Now it was Gabriel’s time to be captured by Dean, his soul was glowing in soft ripples of delight. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And the archangel set to himself the apparently insurmountable task of making Dean’s soul shine the brightest in the world one of these days.

Lazy Sunday 6

Debriel, Supernatural, Warnings-None

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Find me at AO3

image

Gabriel understood to a point why hunting was so important to Dean, he loved violence in the most primordial kind of ways. And the healthiest way to be violent without technically committing a crime was killing monsters.

The problem with this was that it also meant that Gabriel always got left on the bench. And right now he was bored to Hell and back.

The guys had left towards an old area of the town where they had followed what apparently was a shapeshifter with a dash of serial killer as an aside.

Castiel had stayed watching out the entrance of an old dingy bar that according to knowledge was frequented by the monster and waiting for their call in case they had more luck.

And meanwhile Gabriel was strolling by a mock of a quarry nearby that someone might have dug ages ago with the intention of finding gold only to be sadly disappointed.

A twig snapping somewhere in the periphery made him turn his head. He could see the monster hidden behind the bushes just as well as if he had stood right in front of him, a normal human being would have never been able to tell at all.

Gabriel thought it was funny that the would be human was trying to predate on him until he remembered that he was concealing his power. It was a habit so ingrained in him after millennia of Trickster pretense that sometimes even Castiel would falter to remember his brother was an archangel considering his normal behaviour.

It would have been easy to smite the vermin right there but Dean would be extremely angry at him if he did. And he wanted Dean to be happy. Not angry.

This was probably the thought that made him take his next decision.

-Hello? -He approached an area around the bush. -Is anyone there? -In a flash, the monster was by his side, hitting him hard in the back. And Gabriel, well, he had to ‘pass out’ from the hit, right?

It was easy and rather fun to let himself be dragged by the monster adding a couple of dozen extra pounds to what would normally be his vessel’s weigh just to see if the monster thought there was something wrong. He didn’t. While apparently unconscious, Gabriel was hooded, bagged, tied up with duct tape and shoved unceremoniously into the back of a truck, the moment they got to their destination he was thrown into the cellar of a house.

He was starting to wonder how long he was supposed to ‘be unconscious’ when a bucket of iced water fell upon him. He reacted immediately.

-Wha…!? Where am I!? What is going on here!?

The view of the front wall that greeted him would have chilled any other persons blood. A set of shelves held the five missing heads. What gave him actual chills was the fact that all of these heads were from males resembling his features in an uncanny way.

The figure that came from his side view held the same face of the head at the topmost right, only around twenty years older.

-Who… Who are you!? Please let me out of here!

The man in front of him just smiled and made a go to a table filled with blades of different forms and shapes.

-I’m sorry, but you won’t come out alive.

The monster was about to touch him in order to take Gabriel’s looks when a soft noise upstairs alerted him of intruders in the house. The boys had arrived.

Gabriel was about to scream for help in the purest form of a scared to hell future murder victim but the monster placed the knife close to his neck.  

-If you even dare think of screaming, I’ll make your painful death ten times worse.

Gabriel just nodded in apparent terror while thinking that if he had ever wondered who on Earth actually said such cheesy b-series lines he had an answer now.

He saw the man take the stairs up and the fight began a minute later. A loud crash, probably from a bookcase or shelf destroyed by one of the brother’s bodies sent away in a throw. More furniture crashing, a lamp, a chair maybe. Some more struggle, a gunshot, a groan, a thud and silence.

-Sammy you alright? -came the muffled voice from the ceiling.

-Yeah, you?

-Yeah, let’s get downstairs and see if there’s anyone living.

Sam came down first. And Gabriel would be damned if he hadn’t seen anything funnier in his life. He would have taken a Polaroid of that bitchface if he only hadn’t stayed properly tied up like a good victim.

-Heya Sammich. How’s it going? -His innocent, happy smile could’ve rivaled that of the cutest corgi. If he had had a tail he would’ve definitely had been wagging it like crazy.

Dean slammed the hotel room door open once they arrived back.

-Why are you still so angry at me!? Shouldn’t you be glad that no innocents were in danger?

-We thought there was an innocent person inside! What were you doing there in the first place? Are you out of your mind!?

Dean was screaming at Gabriel’s face now, which made him snap. He grabbed the hunter and pinned him on the wall thirty centimetres over the ground. Eyes flaring white blue just for a second.

-Don’t you dare even think of putting me in my place Dean. You might not like it when you get the backlash.

Before either hunter could say another thing, Gabriel was gone surrounded by the flap of his wings.

Sweet Treats 4

Debriel, Supernatural, Warnings-None
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Find me at AO3

image

Dean had finally been able to find a moment where neither Sam nor Gabriel were around and was dragging Castiel to the dungeon, the only place Dean knew was warded against a lot of shit, in this case, anyone possibly peeping.

-Cas, this is serious, I swear I’m gonna go nuts if you don’t help me.

-I can’t understand anything if you just say you’re going nuts, you have to explain this to me.

-Ok, so I kissed Gabriel, and a part of his grace got stuck in me, right?

-Right.

-And so I kissed him again so that he could get it back. Right?

-Right.

-But, how do I know he actually took his grace back?

Castiel’s eyes shined in understanding. But there was something that bothered him about it. -I can check inside of you and see if it’s gone but why do you want to know?

-Because… -Dean turned quickly to the door just in case and lowered his voice. -Because I’ve been having this… Damn, it’s hard to put it on words. I mean, I like girls, I’ve always liked girls, you know this right? -Castiel nodded. -But after the last kiss with Gabriel I… If I see a hot guy I… There’s this… this voice in my head telling me to go for it, just like with the girls, and I… I…

Dean struggled to say more but he couldn’t bring himself to and just held his head in dejection. Castiel didn’t need him to finish his sentence, it was obvious what the problem seemed to be.

-Bring a chair, I’ll try to see what’s going on in you but you have to promise not to fight against me. I’m going to get in touch with your soul.

It was a stressful experience to say the least but Dean endured it. He hoped, well he didn’t know what he hoped for but Castiel’s unsettled face wasn’t a good sign.

-Well, the good thing is that Gabriel’s grace is nowhere inside you. He effectively took it away from you.

-Right. So what are the bad news Doc?

-I think Gabriel’s grace helped awake a… a part of you that had been dormant.

-…Meaning?

-Every single human soul is born with many, uhm, basic settings. But that doesn’t mean everyone has each of those settings on, which setting is on or off relies heavily on genes, nurturing, experiences. In this case, after you were born your genes and experiences made you turn on the setting for being attracted to females.

Castiel stopped a second to see if Dean was understanding his explanation. Dean was already dreading the last part of his friend’s speech.

-Right. And…?

-And now, well, Gabriel’s grace is archangel grace, they are made with primordial matter and energy and it stayed way too long inside you. It triggered a change in your gender preferences, influenced probably by Gabriel’s desires and now, well, you’re also attracted to men.

To say he felt shocked was an understatement.

-I’ve never seen something like this happen, but maybe Gabriel might be able to help reverting it. Dean are you ok?

-I will be after a couple bottles of scotch have gone down my throat.

Praying was definitely not part of Dean’s skill sets but he made an effort to call for the archangel after five days had gone by and he hadn’t shown up. He was on the bunker’s rooftop.

-Pretty odd, hearing from you like this.

-Gabriel, we need to talk.

-Whoa, don’t come and tell me you’re pregnant because apart from the fact that you’re a man and it’s physically impossible, we didn’t even get to score home run.

-Well, now that you bring that up, this is still your fault and I damn as well hope you can fix it. -Dean was definitely not in the best of moods. But he managed to calm down and explain himself. -Gabriel, your grace changed me into something I’m not.

-What do you mean?

-Ok, I should have asked Cas for help on this… you know the stuff about settings in a soul turned on and off depending on how you grow up?

-Wouldn’t have used those words myself but yes. Why?

-I’m heterosexual.

-Right.

-Well, your grace turned me bisexual.

Gabriel looked at Dean as if he had grown up a second head and the Trickster side within was compelling him to deny every single fact but making an internal grace assessment he knew Dean was telling the truth.

-Ok, and what about it?

-What about it? Seriously Gabriel!? Turn me back to normal ‘only chick loving’ me!

-But… why?

Dean opened and closed his mouth several times in disbelief. -Because this ain’t me! That’s why!

-But it can be you! You just gotta embrace the feeling!

-You asshole.

-Watch that mouth.

Dean sent him a bitchface worthy of Sam’s approval. -Don’t you think that if it were that easy to change a person we wouldn’t even be having this conversation?

Dean strolled back to the bunker, away from Gabriel. By night he had calmed down quite considerably so when a knock and Gabriel’s voice came softly asking for attention through his bedroom door he answered it and just motioned the archangel to come in, closing the door behind.

-To be straight about it and incredible as it may sound, this is a first for me as well so if you feel like you can’t take it, tell me right away, alright?

Dean would have been able to make at least three different untones right off the bat regarding Gabriel’s words but considering the situation he was at it might not have been the best idea. There was something he didn’t understand yet.

-Why you decided to help me now?

Gabriel was very uncomfortable about this situation too, no matter how much he had wanted Dean, nothing gave him the right to force his desires on him. Even he had his principles.

-Eh, I’m pretty bored right now.

Dean just snickered at him with a suspicious look.

-Ok, so what do I do?

-Well, you can sit or lay down, we definitely can’t do this standing.

Dean motioned himself towards the chair first but after remembering his experience with Cas, he changed his course to the bed and laid himself comfortably in the middle. Gabriel sat by his side and placed his hands over his chest, a soft white glow suddenly coming out. It was an uncomfortable feeling, like having an itch that you cannot scratch but quite endurable unlike what had happened with the seraph.

Having Gabriel so close, his body began to ache the feeling of grinding itself against the archangel like the day they got heady on the couch. A part of him wondered if it had been really that bad. If he had felt it had been wrong. If he didn’t have the need to do it again. If he hadn’t actually wanted to do it at least once more. His mind betrayed him with thoughts of the night before, when he had been thinking about the heavy breathing of the archangel against his lips.

Dean looked up at Gabriel’s blazing, unearthly eyes from where he was and he suddenly felt himself or rather his consciousness pulled towards him, the sheer power of his grace acting like a magnet for his soul.

-Wait. -Gabriel stopped immediately. He looked quizzically at Dean. -Your grace, it’s calling me.

If somebody had ever told Dean some years ago he would be able to live long enough to see an archangel blush, he would have called them crazy. Now he was not so sure.

-Happens all the time, just ignore it. -Gabriel motioned to start again but Dean held one of his hands. -I’m almost there, it won’t take long, I promise. -He was starting to get nervous although he had no idea why.

Dean sat back and looked straight at the angel’s eyes. Gabriel looked at him worried. -Is everything al…mph!

It had been an impulse. That part of him that wanted to go beyond. And he knew he had to make up his mind now or the moment would be lost forever.

Lazy Sunday 5

Debriel, Supernatural, Warnings-None

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Find me at AO3

image

Colorado was less than a day away from Kansas but that didn’t stop Gabriel from whining during the trip when he got bored.

-I’m just saying, why do we even bother driving? I could get us there in a snap.

-Yeah, not happening, I’ll drive with Baby ‘till the day I die.

-Ok but how about I go there, smite whatever’s causing problems and we change routes towards Vegas instead?

Dean just glanced at Gabriel through the rear view mirror. The archangel sighed and lifted up his hands in defeat. He leaned himself over Castiel to use him as pillow and rested his feet over the open window. A chocolate mousse appearing in his hands.

-Watch out for that, you’re cleaning her if you drip anything over.

Gabriel only showed him his tongue in defiance. Sam couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the childish behaviour both were showing, rolling his eyes in mock annoyment.

-You really do get along well. -Castiel hadn’t precisely tried to make a subtle statement about the kind of relationship Gabriel and Dean shared, he had honestly just said it because it felt like a good thing but both Dean and Sam rustled a bit uncomfortably on their seats. Though none made a go to comment on the other’s response.

-I think so too! -smirk -What ‘bout you lil’ bro? Got someone that you get along well with?

Castiel eyed his brother slightly, the tension coming from the brothers upfront told him there was more to the apparently naive question but he couldn’t get it. -I get along well with both of them. -the tension started to fade away.

-You don’t get along better with one or the other?

-Dude, we’re right here.

-I was just trying to make conversation.

-It’s ok Dean, I love the both of you equally. We’ve been through a lot together.

The fact that Castiel had answered in such a straightforward, innocent way that not even his brother could twist his words was a feat by itself. Sam couldn’t help but give him a warm smile.

-We also love you Cas. You’re the best.

-Aw come on! Stop the sweetness already! I’ll get diabetes!

-That’s rich coming from a guy with a 24/7 pastry diet. -Dean had to admit to himself he would have sided with Gabriel on that if it hadn’t been his little brother the one he was complaining about and there was only one person allowed to mess with Sam in that way. Himself.

The rest of the trip went smoothly, Gabriel magically appeared some double tier hamburgers with extra bacon and chips when the guys got hungry just because they had been way too far away from the last or the next gas stop. Sam wanted desperately to complain about the amount of carbs but it was way too good even for him not to enjoy. Dean even licked his fingers when there was no more.

Gabriel laughed -I can get you another if you want.

-Thanks man but no, I’ll fall asleep on the wheel if I get another one of those.

It was past six o’clock when they arrived to their destination but the boys still went to the police station to gather information regarding the five maimed decapitated male bodies found on the edge of the town in an unmarked communal grave. Some recognised as people gone missing with several years of difference. The angels waiting on the motel room because neither Sam nor Dean trusted either of their communication skills, Castiel was too awkward, Gabriel too crude when he proposed himself to. And considering nobody knew when this would happen they had taken the easy way and left them behind.

Gabriel managed to entertain himself by doing the tallest and largest card tower the room could hold but he was done now.

-…You really don’t feel like dating Sam?

-Why would I want to date him?

-Well, we could go out on double dates. Maybe if they’re up to it we could even do more together as the night arrives. -Gabriel gave Castiel a look that not even he could be dense enough to let pass. He sighed.

-What is wrong brother?

-What do you mean?

-There’s something bothering you, you’re being crass beyond your normal behaviour.

Gabriel gave Castiel a blank stare. He really couldn’t understand how he could be so sharp at some things and so slow with others. And with the way his sight pierced through his vessel’s eyes to look at him he couldn’t force himself to blatantly lie to his younger brother.

-It’s not bothe… Ok yeah, maybe it is bothering me. – Castiel just waited for his brother to continue. -I… I don’t know how to make Dean happy.

It was Castiel’s turn to be stun by Gabriel.

-I think he enjoys what we do together but he doesn’t look genuinely happy. I have only managed to make him laugh once.

-You are concerned by his wellbeing.

The archangel blushed -So what if I am!? I… it doesn’t even matter how much I try if I can’t even get a real smile from him.

Castiel was about to say something when they heard the impala arriving and the sounds of the guys reaching the room. When Dean opened the door, the card tower fell with the blast of wind filling all the room in white, red and black.

-Seriously Gabriel? Come on, poof away all of this, we gotta work.

It’s Free Real Estate!

Debriel, Supernatural, Warnings-None

Find me at AO3

image

Sam blasted into the hotel room like a stampede.

-Seriously Dean!? “Wanna come see how good the car feels?”? We’re in the middle of a vampire nest hunt and you’re trying to hook up with the bartender like everything’s done!?

Castiel and Gabriel hastily picked up the cards of their poker game and stepped out of Sam’s bed when they noticed the awful mood the younger Winchester was in.

-And it was totally worth it man, she was a real ginger!  

-That’s beyond… urgh! -Sam made an exasperated motion with his arms -You know what? I’m done with your hooking up streak! It’s not just this ginger! Two days ago on Nevada it was the brunette that turned out to be a ghoul, last week there was the blonde one, the week before that the bartender that you ditched me for on the salt and burn and in between all those three, every single time we stopped for fuel or food you had to bat your eyelashes at any girl we passed by! I mean, seriously Dean not even you can get so distracted by women all the friggin’ time!

Dean sat on the edge of the bed after grabbing a beer.

-And would you blame me? All those girls were in desperate need of some love and I was right there, ready to provide. I mean, my heart’s like a condo, if they want in then who am I to deny them passage?

After a few more moments of Sam’s rambling, Gabriel, who had seen the interaction along Castiel with an appraising look approached the hunter and straddled him. Before anyone could say a thing he had surrounded Dean’s shoulders and approached him softly, gently tilting his head enough and softly parting his lips while lowering his gaze towards the hunter in an alluring manner. The moment Dean saw his actions he simply leaned forward and met the archangel in the middle, holding him close with his hand around his waist and indulging in the french kiss the archangel was offering.  

Sam, who by that moment thought nothing could actually surprise him anymore was shocked. Not only by the boldness of the archangel, who clearly couldn’t care less about the amount of people in the room but by the way his brother had simply reveled in Gabriel’s touch. Sam approached Castiel who was squinting his eyes in a clear loss for words and grazed his hand to bring his attention. Cas turned to look at Sam. He didn’t need to have been an angel to understand Sam’s face literally asking in panic what the hell was going on. Castiel only moved his head negatively to state not even he had the slightest clue.

After what seemed to have been just some minutes but more than enough time to give Sam nightmares about his brother and the archangel for a lifetime, Gabriel almost unwillingly separated himself from Dean and made to stand up by his side, resting his hand over his shoulder.

-Yup, there’s no doubt about it. He was cursed by that witch you confronted three weeks ago. It wasn’t something serious so I never actually catched it.

He snapped his fingers in front of Dean’s face who suddenly began to act like he was just waking up from an hypnotism session.

-What the hell man?

-Dean? -The hunter turned to look at his little brother- Uh… Are you alright?

-Yeah? Wow, no, wait a second. -He turned upwards to look at Gabriel and looked at him in dread.- Were you just kissing me!?

-Well what can I say Big Boy? You said your heart was like a condo, I say that’s free real estate!

marichromatic:

So I have this Gabe Headcanon:

That the reason it is prophesied Gabriel will only sound his horn when the apocalypse comes is because he was playing it so much when Chuck gave it to him as a present that Chuck finally snapped and forbade him to keep on tooting it.

Gabriel: But daaaaad! I want to play it all the time!

Chuck: You know what? You can play it again.

Gabriel: Really!? :DDD

Chuck: Yeah, WHEN THE APOCALYPSE ARRIVES

Lazy Sunday 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Debriel, Supernatural, Warnings-None

Find me at AO3

image

Sam was pacing around the room waiting for Dean to arrive.

He wasn’t nervous, no sir, but he couldn’t help having this hunch that somehow his brother was slowly growing apart from him. He didn’t need to be a genius to understand that Gabriel was as smart as a fox and ten times sharper than that and after talking to Cas that dreaded pull on his stomach had tightened up to an alarming rate.

-Sam.

Then again, Cas had tried to reassure him, telling him that his brother would never hurt Dean. But what would a normal, traditional garrison angel know about the messed up upbringing of a pagan god? Their experiences couldn’t have been more different.

-Sam.

Still, he probably shouldn’t have to worry for real. Because, yeah, an archangel was pretty much courting his brother but that didn’t necessarily mean that Dean was to fall for him. Right?

-Sam!

-Huh?

-Please, stop pacing around.

-Right -He awkwardly made a go for the couch but stopped midway. -…water.

-You’re still worried about Dean? -Cas had to follow him all the way to the kitchen to be able to start the conversation.

Sam chuckled nervously -Of course not! I mean, he’s a grown up man, there’s no reason for me to be worrying about him.

Cas placed a hand over his shoulder. -Trust me, nothing bad will happen.

Sam knew the angel meant well but it was nowhere near enough for him to be reassured. He finally sat down at the table. -I’m sorry Cas, it’s just… I don’t even know why I’m getting so worked up about this. My brain is logical about it but I can’t stop feeling like I’m losing my brother forever.

He was crying. He wasn’t sobbing or wailing, his voice was still stable and assertive, but his body hadn’t been able to keep all the rush of his musings inside.

-And it sounds so stupid when I say it out loud but I can’t help it.

Castiel honestly didn’t know what to do to help Sam feel better about his brother but there was something he probably could say about himself. So he just stayed by his side, waiting for his tears to stop flowing.

-Sam?

He turned towards the angel.

-Remember that time you asked me why I never heard your prayers but came immediately after Dean prayed for me? -Sam just nodded.

-I didn’t tell the truth that day. -Sam stood still for a second.

-What do you mean?

-I thought about it time and again and back in the day it didn’t make sense so I just said what I thought was the more obvious reason. It became clear only after a long time.

The hunter waited patiently for the angel to end his thoughts.

– When Dean asked me to answer to your prayers it was literally strenuous. It was impossible for me to keep a stable connection with you. And then came the time to realize you had been missing something ever since I had brought you back from The Cage. That’s the moment I realized it was not that I had tuned out your prayers or that I had a more profound bond with Dean, it was that you didn’t have a soul.

Realization slowly dawned on the hunter’s face. Of course, it was so obvious. You cannot really have faith if you don’t have a soul. Even if he logically believed in Castiel since he had seen him and been with him that didn’t mean he had real faith. That only came from your soul.

-I should have had been able to realize there was a problem if I hadn’t been so worried about myself back then. I… I’m sorry Sam.

It was weird how a situation from ages ago still had an impact on him. He hadn’t thought about it for years and yet the moment Castiel offered him an apology he had felt ten times better.

-It’s ok Cas, it wasn’t your fault either.

Castiel gave him an awkward thin smile and turned his gaze down. There were times Sam couldn’t help himself and think the angel was absolutely endearing and smiled softly at him. They heard noises coming from the garage. Dean and Gabriel had finally arrived and Sam stood up to grab the bags.

-Come on Cas, it’s time to go.